Current mood:

anxious

To all my smelly ass-sucking pussy-calling peeps
It has come to my attention (at nauseam) that I am a lazy, boring, farting, ass-less pants wearing, cum guzzling maggot. I agree. Thanks for puttin’ in out there.

In recent times mucho excellente poop has occurred. I closed my restaurant “Fauna.” This has been an extremely freeing experience. I used to say that I only got furloughs here and then.

I have now received a full pardon.

Since the release, I have traveled to L.A. I stayed with King Neptune and met all of his fishes in his great sea. THANKS BOSS!!!!!

I have decided to move to the So-Cal. I met many strange and fun new creatures and some delicious watering holes (very important). I have a job (pretty much) at the crazy “Beverly Hills Hotel” as executive sous chef. Providing my pee is up to there standards. My dog, Cleo, and I will be on the left coast before the middle of the months.

Put that in pipe and smoke it!!!!